Fast forward about 10 years…… I had just graduated Saint Joseph’s University in Philadelphia with a chip on my shoulder and an even bigger pile of debt on the other. However, I wanted to pursue my dream of acting which promised a low-income and a gypsy lifestyle which for some reason I was all about! I auditioned for my first tour and booked it! Which I thought was the best thing since sliced bread. Cue my nervous breakdown years. After my almost life-threatening ordeal as a child, you can imagine that I had some pretty serious issues as an adult. I became a no-joke hypochondriac and I don’t just mean about my health. I literally always thought I was dying. If you were my friend from 2009-2012 you got a phone call listing every “symptom” I was having and which belongings I would gift to you after my funeral. You think I’m exaggerating but I’m not. I had developed a serious anxiety disorder. This is when my life took a turn for the worse. On the outside I was happy, I mean, I was a working actress, pretty enough girl, lots of friends in addition to being able to travel the country. Despite all of this, I was dying on the inside. This is when the debt collectors started calling.
By 2012, I was 3 years post graduation and had worked at numerous regional theaters and was trucking along with my whimsical dream of fame and stardom. I ignored the debt calls and focused on my “deteriorating” health. I’m sure it was some repressed issue from my sickness as a child but I’m not physiologist! I became obsessed. I made weekly emergency room visits, I had countless unnecessary medical procedures, racked up tons of doctor bills and basically flushed any self-esteem or confidence down the drain. I mean I was dying, why would I need to try at anything. It was my excuse to hide from the world. It all came to a head when I was 23 years old and working as a singer/dancer at the Greenbrier Resort in Lewisburg, WV.
So, I did some serious work on myself, pulled my big girl panties up, had a doctor look me in the face and say, “There is nothing wrong with you.” From that moment on I vowed to change my life. However, it’s never a quick fix as much as a lifestyle change, one which would be filled with both good and bad days.
Even though I excelled and was taught so much about myself and my ability as a businesswoman, it was still rather soul-sucking. I loved my boss and my co-workers, my boss is still a great friend and mentor but damnnnn was she tough!!! There I was spending countless hours typing away for someone else, making money for someone else who was making money all while watching all my friends succeed at their own dreams. And don’t forget those nasty debt collectors.
I remember ugly crying all the way home through the streets of NYC then sitting on my stoop on East 94th Street thinking, “Will this ever get better? Is there even a solution? Or will I have to work less than desirable jobs just to stay afloat and never realize my dreams?” After a long soul-searching talk with myself, I decided to not throw in the towel but fight for my life and try something I hadn’t tried before….work on myself first! Which is honestly the lesson I hope people take away from my story. Be the best person you can be to yourself, family, friends, strangers and good things will start happening! Take control of what you can control and then like magic, the problems will start to show you solutions.
Fitness was key to my new found success. Fitness helped me suppress stress, feel confident, in control of my choices, stronger and be a better version of myself. Fitness taught me that if you are accountable, have the drive, and stay committed you can achieve anything! In 2013 I became a Beachbody coach and started my own business. I had about 200K in defaulted student debt and in two years we became completely debt free!
