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Bonnie Engle Bonnie Engle
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Mar 13
sleep in separate beds

Is It OK If You and Your Husband Sleep in Separate Beds?

  • March 13, 2019
  • Bonnie Engle
  • Business


So you’re SICK of getting kicked in the shins, and he’s sick of you stealing the comforter 😂…should y’all sleep in separate beds? Or is that the “nuclear option”?

Most couples would never sleep in separate beds, because they think it sound like the death knell of a marriage. Is it??

Remember, it’s not like sleeping in different beds is the same thing as sleeping with different people!! LOL!

In fact, scientists say you may get a more restful night’s sleep if you and your partner each have your own bed. After all, it’s been the subject of basically every sitcom ever: that the woman takes up the whole bed and her husband is left with just a teeny little sliver, or she steals all the covers. (But really, the men are at fault just as much if not more. He snores or scratches you with his toenails, God FORBID!! 😂)

And of course, some couples have more problems sleeping in the same bed than others. Because one person might like white noise or a fan on to sleep, and the other person might be kept TOSSING and TURNING all night by those things!! One person might love to cuddle, and the other might hate that their arm falls asleep when the other person is laying on it. (Although if that’s your only problem, there’s PROBABLY a compromise simpler than sleeping in separate beds!!) Some couples are more “sleep compatible” than others, when it comes to temperature, amount of covers, etc., so I think it makes sense for SOME to sleep in separate beds.

And if you’re saying, Bonnie, what on God’s green Earth do you mean?? I love sleeping next to my husband and I couldn’t fall asleep without him! And I think it’s good for our marriage! (BTW, for more marriage tips check out my other blog post Esther Perel Says: Stop Bickering with Your Partner!!)

I totally agree! I mean, Andrew and I sleep in the same bed, like most people do!! And some psychologists would also agree that sleeping together is good for nurturing and maintaining the relationship, even if it’s literally “sub-conscious” because you’re sleeping!

BUT I also gotta admit the scientific truth here: science says that the vast majority of people have a worse quality and amount of sleep when someone else is sleeping next to them! (Source: The Atlantic.)

And it’s actually not as uncommon as you might think. The US National Sleep Foundation says, one in four couples sleep in their own beds! ONE IN FOUR? WHAT?

And a separate survey done in Canada said it could be up to 40%!! (And the Canadians are so much friendlier…that couldn’t be a coincidence, right?? Better sleep? LOL!)

I guess when it comes down to it, I have no interest in sleeping in my own bed away from Andrew.

And I mean, with Evelyn, I’m not really thinking about getting the best night’s sleep anyway!!! A full night of sleep is a luxury that is going to come a little later!! LOL.

I’m curious to know what you guys think! Does sleeping alone sound super sad? Or is it something you’ve done yourself, whether it’s because your partner has sleep apnea…or is a bed hog…or can only sleep with a freezing cold fan blowing on the bed??

Let me know in the comments!

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Hey! I’m Bonnie. I am a wife to my amazing husband Andrew, a mom to Evelyn with another one on the way and I have two fur babies! I am a health and fitness coach I have dedicated my life to helping other women break out of their comfort zone and create their dream life. No matter your background, I believe everyone deserves to live their best life and I want to help you do that.

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